For the past six years, designer Athena Calderone has devoted her professional and personal life to creating modern, minimalist spaces with just the right amount of warmth and romance. With two major renovations in the last year alone—both her Brooklyn Heights apartment and Amagansett beach house underwent complete overhauls—Calderone has also managed to carve out a place for herself as a go-to designer for chic children's spaces (she reinterprets high-end modern interiors for the under-10 set). An interior designer by trade, her innate sense of style has also made her a natural muse for designer friends like Dolce & Gabbana, who created her wedding dress. Rounding out her tight-knit trio is husband, Victor (he's a DJ who has collaborated with Madonna and Beyonce) and surf-obsessed son, Jivan.
Jivan, eight years old, September 2011
1. "Bike riding in Amangsett with Jivan
2. Morning cuddles—I've created a little cuddle monster!
3. When Jivan randomly shares a bit of information with me, something I clearly taught him. His reinterpretation is too cute and lets me know I'm doing my job.
4. Singing together in the car on long drives
5. Watching Jivan and Victor play together—I mean REALLY play like puppies
6. When Victor and I kiss, Jivan makes the cutest sad face because he wants in! He runs over to us, jumps into our arms, and says 'family kiss!'"
Artwork on Jivan's wall spells out his name, which means 'life' in Sanskrit
1. Favorite thing about surfing: "Diving under the waves and cause its fun!"
2. Favorite part about growing up in Brooklyn: "All my friends are here."
3. Favorite food: "Steak—I'm a major carnivore! Broccoli for veggies, and Franny's pizza."4. Favorite thing to do with your mom/dad: "Playing sports with daddy, reading every night with mommy."
"Every night at bedtime all three of us climb up the ladder of Jivan's bed one by one—it's always a race to get up first. Whoever is behind Victor gets tickled as they climb. We end by piling on top of each other and making a Jivan, mom, and dad sandwich!"
"We created this together with different bright colored tape."
"When you become a mom, you get to believe in magic again. Santa Claus and the excitement of Christmas morning, playing hide-n-seek, running around barefoot on the grass, having water balloon fights, getting messy and not caring, going sledding and having snowball fights, dancing and spinning around until you fall on the floor in a ball of dizzy laughter. Having a child has helped me let go!"
On Athena: dress from Reformation
On Jivan: Crewcuts shirt, and Joes Jeans skinny jeans
"He’s had this pujah since he was a baby—it's a collection of all of his favorite things. It’s supposed to evolve over time, but it’s stayed the same since he was little."
"I love to include Jivan in the design process. He already has such a trained eye and has been on construction and jobs sites since he was tiny. Visual beauty is my passion and it's so important for him to see and understand what inspires mommy. I love hearing his opinion and always ask for his design feedback."
"Watching Jivan surf and seeing his fearless, carefree comfort in the ocean is an inspiration and joy for me to watch. This past summer was his third year at Air & Speed Surf Campin Montauk, but it wasn't until this year that he truly 'got it', and built some beautiful friendships with a group of his surfer buddies. Before surfing I don't think he had found "his" sport. It honestly changed his personality and built his confidence incredibly. He used to be on the quieter, shy side, and slightly cautious—surfing gave him the boost of confidence he needed. I think he feels connected to himself and to a community when he's on that board and in the water. It's made me a proud mama!"
"I'm in love with the Skin Medica line of products. And I can't live without the gel manicures at Jin Soon, and formaldehyde-free keratin treatments—no frizz! As for exercise, I'm a morning workout gal—I have to get it done early or else it just doesn't happen. I'll either take a 9 a.m. yoga class or run outside along the Brooklyn waterfront for four miles. After I had Jivan, I did yoga regularly to help get me back in shape."
Framed pictures painted by Jivan
"We did these paintings when my husband was away, and Jivan wrote this poem on the back. We came up with a whole new splatter technique for these—it was a fun rainy day project out at our house in Amagansett."
"Jivan is my greatest teacher. He depends on us, but we certainly learn about ourselves through him!"
"My time with Jivan after work and when he gets home from school is limited—we really only have from 5:30 p.m. until bedtime together on weeknights, and that includes dinner and now homework. I do my best to turn the phone off during those treasured hours to give Jivan my full attention. Work can wait."
"Our rule is no TV during the week. Jivan is not a natural chatter box so if I don't create those moments where we are sitting together, playing cards or doing artwork together, the day can go by without really communicating and hearing about each others' day."
"LEGOS LEGOS LEGOS and the limitless possibilities you can create with them.
We're currently obsessed with reading the Harry Potter books together.
We love playing Rummy 500 and card games called Ruckus, Set, and Five Crowns."
"The three of us are such a little unit—we go everywhere together! We love that Jivan has traveled around the world with us (his first passport is completely filled). We've always taken him to restaurants so that he has an appreciation and love of the same things we do, and he's a great eater because of that!
That said, it's also so important for Victor and I to create date nights and bath nights together whenever we can. No one is going to create intimate time for us so we make sure to carve that time out of our busy schedules."
"We keep a goal chart so Jivan can visually see what he has achieved. It makes him feel proud of himself to focus on all of his successes each day."
Organic bedding from West Elm
"We love raising Jivan in Brooklyn—the light, the views of the Brooklyn Bridge and Statue of Liberty, the cobble stone streets, and the farm-to-table approach of many of the incredible restaurants. And Jivan is so passionate about the Brooklyn Bridge. He studied its history last year in 2nd grade and has an encyclopedic knowledge about how it was built."
Skateboard found on eBay through a vintage surf shop in California
"My most humbling parenting moment was being on an overnight flight from NYC to Spain when Jivan was two—he screamed, cried, and was hitting me the majority of the flight. I ended up sitting on the floor so that he could finally stretch out and fall asleep. I thought, 'OK, so this is what a mother does.' I got off the plane and called my mom crying."
"He can eat pesto almost every night of the week. Literally.
At this point, he can make it with his eyes closed."
"He went through an obsession with army men and fighting that concerned me. I came to realize it is a natural 'boy' curiosity."
"He made this piece of furniture in shop class at school, and keeps some of his favorite things inside. He’s really been into keeping it locked up. It’s sweet to see how proud he is of it."
"The day before school began we went to the Quicksilver pro surf competition in Long Beach. Once of the pro surfers, Jeremy Flores, got out of the water after competing and walked up to Jivan, asked if he surfed, and gave him his surfboard! It was a spectacular moment for him! He was interviewed live on TV about it and, afterwards, Jivan said to me, 'Mom, this feels like a dream, pinch me!' If ever there were a moment that sealed the deal for his love of surfing, this was it!"
"No one talks about how powerful we are as women during childbirth! I had the most beautiful natural birthing experience. I worked with a doula which made all the difference—she kept me so relaxed and calm and at home until the very end. I had Jivan 10 minutes after I arrived at the birthing center. Was it painful with out drugs? Yes! But it was honestly so euphoric at times and when I look back, it's a gift to be so present while birthing your baby. I'm amazed at what a woman's body can do—it's so empowering. Jivan peed on me the second he came out, which he finds hilarious!"
"A few of the things that keep me sane: coffee, red wine, yoga, fresh flowers, and cuddling and reading on the sofa with Jivan every night."
"I wish I was better at not reacting immediately to frustrating moments, letting go of the 'to-do list', and being fully present when I'm with Jivan."
"I have come to realize that although Victor is my best friend and husband of 12 years, we are not always going to have the same approach to raising Jivan. Of course, we have the same core values but we both have different things to offer him and different ways to approach a situation—that's a beautiful thing but also challenging at times. I try to remind myself that Victor is not going to respond to things the same way I do. We may not always agree but we are always on the same team, which is something couples often forget when trying to prove they are 'right'. I've learned that we both have our very different roles as a parents."
"I'm not a natural ocean gal—I've never body surfed or dove under waves but Jivan completely and confidently knows how to handle himself in the ocean. I reveled in the idea of him teaching me something. He took me boogie boarding which honestly made me feel like I was 10 again, and he had such patience in describing to me what to do when a wave is about to crash on me. Odd how I resisted it at first and how much fun it ended up being. He also encouraged me to take a surf lesson with his teacher and, incredibly, I got up easily on the board and LOVED it! When I got out of the water Jivan said, 'Mom, I knew you could do it, you're a natural' It was a powerful and amazing moment for the both of us!"
"I try to make time for myself. I can be a better woman to myself, a better wife to Victor, and a better mom to Jivan if I take care of me!"
"The hardest part about being a mom is molding and guiding a precious life while also allowing, accepting, and honoring who they truly are. Trusting you are doing the right thing, and knowing (or not knowing) how to respond to a challenging moment."
Athena's fall salad recipe
